The start of a birth story

I'm still trapped in the tunnel, waiting for the light to shine, but I must stop a moment to ponder this journey. At my 29 week checkup, the covering midwife (mine's overseas until mid-May) let me know I was measuring 2 weeks ahead. I smiled and shared the story of Ashley's early arrival. She commented that as you go early, you tend to go earlier and earlier and that we should be prepared from 34 weeks, to be aware of my body and if I feel anything, head straight for hospital as they can stop the labor. "Uh-huh, okay, bye!"

Later at home, I turned to Alister and asked what he thought if labor started 6-weeks early - should we intervene with drugs? He said no and I agreed, that nature should take its course. At the 31 week checkup, the 2nd covering midwife, got my barrage of questions, "Why should we stop labor?"; "Why steroids"; "How do you know its early?". She was very good about supplying realistic answers. In a direct manner I have come to respect she replies:

• Your baby will struggle to breathe if born before the lungs are fully developed. Steroids speed up this development over a 48-hour treatment. Two  shots every 24 hours.
• We stop your contractions to give the steroids time to work.
• Sometimes your body overrides the contraction drug and you deliver anyway.
• Your baby will struggle to maintain its own body heat and will need to be incubated. You will get to cuddle your baby for only short periods of time before it needs to warm up again.
• Your baby's liver may not be fully matured. Jaundice and light treatment may be required.
• Your baby's sucking reflex may not be present and will need your milk through a syringe / tube.
• You have two children at home that will need time with their mummy. You won't be able to spend every minute in hospital with a preemie. 
• You will stay upstairs in the post-natal ward. Your baby will be downstairs in the neonatal ward.
• When baby is strong enough, you can move into the neonatal ward and room in before going home.
• You may go home before your baby

I staggered out of the appointment. "This is someone else's journey. Definitely not mine". I got in the car and drove home.

Meanwhile, we were preparing for the birth as encouraged. Clothes were getting sorted. Last minute decisions on bedrooms made. Over Easter, we milked our last time. We arranged for Wyatt and Ashley to spend a night with Gran & Granddad so that they could have a practice run for when I deliver and also so that Alister and I could have a night away on our own in New Plymouth. I booked a room at the Waterfront Hotel, splurging on a beach view. We arrive and are told we've been upgraded to the Penthouse! It was a fabulous night, reconnecting as a couple. We had wine, read magazines, had a lazy Italian dinner at Portofino...talked about the future, family, and marriage. You don't realize how much you need this time until you're sitting in the middle of it! The wine gave me a migraine the next morning so all I wanted to do was have a decent breakfast and drive home so I could get my tablets. In the car, I find an emergency stash, swallow one, and ask Alister to take me to the dept store, I need to get Wyatt flannel sheets first.

I go shopping alone to grab what I need. As I'm picking out a birthday present for one of Wyatt's friends, I get an awful gripping in my guts and think, hmmm toilet time! It can wait until I get home. I rush through shopping as the cramps are often and painful. Hobble to the car. Curl in my seat. Halfway home, I tell Alister to just pull over, I must have to go really bad. But I don't.

We finally get home. Change out of pants, put on comfy tights. Sit on couch. I watch a movie for 2 hours until my massage - scheduled at 1. Feel like crap. Drive to massage. Monica looks at me and gasps, "what are you doing here?". "Well, I'm hoping you can sort out this stomach ache I've got, why?". "Because you look like a woman about to give birth, there's no way you are going another 8 weeks". My heart rate increases ten fold. I gulp. We start the massage. She does a lot of work on my pelvis. For the first time ever, she offers to massage my stomach as its so tight. I can barely lie on the table without curling my toes. As I leave my massage my inner voice tells me to ring the covering midwife. Its the day she's seeing mothers. Just go get checked out.

I arrive at 2:15 she rests her hands on my stomach, checks the heartbeat. At 3pm, I'm at the birthing centre getting hooked up to the monitor in Stratford. Yes, I'm having contractions. She tells me to go home, pack an overnight bag and get straight to the hospital in New Plymouth. Double gulp. I ring Alister, he's left his phone somewhere. I ring my mother-in-law and burst into tears. She sends my father- in- law over the farm to find Alister.I haven't seen my children yet and it looks like I won't for awhile yet.

Ahhh, its 6:30 pm and the contractions stop. I feel bereft. Relieved. Thank god I'm not pushing a baby out tonight.

I spend two nights in hospital getting treatment. The anti-contraction drug isn't that at all. It;s a blood pressure drug with a side effect known to stop spasms. It gives me terrible headaches. I have to take antibiotics in case a step B infection started labor. The pre-labor ward is noisy. I don't even get a TV in my room. The food is real sucky hospital food. Alister brings me stuff from home. The kids try to visit as I hadn't seen them in 3 days. They only last an  hour before I'm exhausted. I have nothing to do but feel every twinge, niggle, tightening, cramp, and ache. Twice I think I'm having contractions again and am put back on the monitor only to show I'm ok. I take a lot of pain relievers. I start and finish an entire book - The Wedding Shroud, a fantastic historical novel of early Rome.

I am discharged on Thursday. I am told to be as inactive as possible, no heavy lifting, keep the kids from climbing on my stomach. If my waters break, go to hospital immediately. Make sure I bring a hot water bottle and towel in the car with me. If I deliver on the 40 minute drive, wrap the baby in the warm towel, keep it dry and warm...on and on the instructions, the what ifs teased out and planned. I am trying my best to be slow and careful but with a 25 month old and a 13 month old, this is next to impossible.

It's Monday, May 2nd now. It's been a hard evening with the children. I'm crabby, irritable. As Alister puts them to bed, the familiar cramps in my belly return. My pulse quickens. Adrenaline pumps. CONTRACTIONS. They are mild and often. I take pain relievers and try to relax. I pack a bag at 8pm and go to bed. I wake up at 10 uncomfortable and lie in bed another hour feeling achy. I get up and make a cup of tea and type this post. Its midnight now and I've had 6 contractions in the last hour. They are mild and I don't feel like its time to go to the hospital yet. I'll give Alister some more time to sleep. Maybe they will stop and we are granted more time before the next turning in the tunnel is revealed.